The Kitchen Etiquette

Curb Your Enthusiasm is back for its 7th season on HBO. While other shows mostly die down by their 5th season, if not by their 4th, Curb is back and better than ever.

Larry David, the main character and writer of the show, has continued to create hysterical plots within everyday moral dillemas that usually go unnoticed by society.

In the first episode of the season, Larry is standing in the kitchen with his girlfriend's doctor. His girlfriend, a woman he took in after Hurricane Katrina, is the first woman he's had a relationship with after separating from his wife, Cheryl. The relationship isn't at all serious and Larry discusses with his friend, Jeff, that he plans on breaking up with her before her test results (for cancer) come back.

While talking with the doctor in his kitchen, the doctor makes himself at home and goes into Larry's fridge and cracks open a can lemonade. Larry is baffled by this and poses the issue of whether or not it'd appropriate behavior. He calls the doctor out on his actions and claims that it's rude and out of place.

And isn't it? How many times have you sat in your own kitchen or household and watched a guest open up your refrigerator, rifle through your pantry, help themselves to the baked goods on the counter that you were saving for yourself? All too often.

And have you ever said anything? Probably not. Why? Because it's rude? Out of line? When really, it's the person helping themselves to your produce that's rude. But we don't speak up, we let them take advantage of us. Though, secretly, in our own minds we start to get pissed off, we resent them. Cause, after all, who are they to be so nosey, so inconsiderate. They're our GUESTS for Christ's sake.

As a host, we are taught to be accommodating. A good host is one who makes their guests feel comfortable and at home. True, but its still OUR home. If you're hungry or thirsty...ask. More often than not I'd give you anything you'd ask for. But the minute you start to help yourself, I'm going to judge you and I'm going to resent your character. I'm going to assume you don't have any manners what so ever and you were raised by unqualified parents in an unkept home. Bottom line, I'm pretty much going to want to get you the hell out of my house as quick as possible, and I'm give you one word answers until you do so. And the next time we're out, I'm probably not going to suggest that we go back to my house because you have forever engrained the type of person you are.

You're the food rummager, the taker, the user. You're selfish and lack social graces and etiquette.

I keep all of these hateful thoughts stored away in my mind as you stand in front of my pantry chewing on MY cookies peering at what else there is to eat...and I'll remain silent and not say a word to you. And not because I'd feel rude or out of line for doing so.

But because I'd crack open your lemonade faster than you opened my fridge.