Paying the tab

In Episode 5, Larry asks Rosie O'Donnell to lunch. Once the bill comes, Rosie reaches for the check in efforts to pay for the bill. Larry gets angry at this claiming that because he asked Rosie out to lunch, he is the one who is responsible to pay. Rosie counters this argument and says that because she touched the tab and picked it up first, it is now fair game for her to pay the bill. While the two of them are wresting over the check, Larry says, in between grunts, "This is my pleasure."

But is it really a pleasure now? Going out to lunch, or any meal for that matter, is supposed to be something we do to enjoy ourselves, to enjoy the company of those who are joining us. But this enjoyment turns sour all too often when the bill comes. Why is it even deemed ONE person's obligation to front the whole bill anyway? Why couldn't Rosie and Larry just split it, if it was that big of a deal?

I can't count how many times this has happened in my own family. We go out to dinner with another family, one of my mothers brothers or sisters and their spouse and children, we have a wonderful meal together...and then the bill comes. Hands are reached for wallets before the bill even hits the table and once it does there is nothing but pushing and shoving between who can pick it up first. It has gotten to the point, now, that someone will fake a bathroom break just to give their credit card to the waiter before anyone else can.

And for what? Rarely, in my own personal situations, has it been that someone was trying to prove something or trying to show off their ability to pick up the tab. It has been more of a grateful gesture, as if you're showing your appreciation of their company by picking up the tab.

In the long run, it just leads to people getting frustrated and heated. Sometimes, even resentful. In Larry and Rosie's case, the dispute carried over and created a hostile environment the next time they saw each other. A dispute, that technically, is purely based upon who had a more enjoyable time at dinner. So enjoyable that there was no better way to end the meal with an argument that may leave you not talking to the other person for some time to come.

Unlike Rosie and Larry, in my family, this dispute never lasted longer than the walk to the car from the restaurant. We'd discuss how good of a time we had and how we should do it again soon. And secretly I always wondered who would grab that bill first.